All of the Can'ts in my Life
by whippedcreamnwaffles
Summary: "I can't kill the possum because it might be innocent, I can't make a good soup, Can't do a handstand in a pool, can't spell the word lieutenant, there's a lot of can'ts in my life"  But those can'ts would soon become cans thanks to Ben Wyatt. Multi-Chap


I can't kill the possum because it might be innocent, I can't make a good soup, I can't do a handstand in a pool, can't spell the word lieutenant there's a lot of cant's in my life.

Little did she know, those cant's would soon become cans. Thanks to Ben. Well, most of them anyway…

"Hey Leslie!" Ben called as he ran to catch up to her in the hall.

"Hello? Umm… what's so urgent that you had to yell to get my attention?" She asked, praying that he would remember their relationship was supposed to be secret, which therefore requires quietness.

"Oh, yeah I need your input on the idea Ron had on having a student be the lieutenant coach of each sports team"

"Oh, um yeah I think it is a great way to get kids involved in politics, by trying be voted the lieutenant while still participating in a sport they love and-"

"Yeah sorry but I actually have a place to be so could you email me your input? Thanks!" He yelled (again) while running down the hall to who knows where-well he did but still- she made her way back to her office while brainstorming pros and cons to having a lieutenant coach. She sat down in her creaky office chair-she really should have that fixed… and began to compose the email…

To:

Subject: Lutient Litentant Letunint Lutenant

"Crap on a swing set" she muttered to herself as she realized she had absolutely NO IDEA how to spell the word lieutenant. She looked up spell check for suggestions on what the spelling may actually be but in despair for there wasn't any saying lieutenant… curse the English languages' crazy spelling!

"Hey Tom," she said to her office mate, "You wouldn't by any chance know how to spell lieutenant, would you?"

"Nope" he told her without even so much as looking up, he just continued to browse through the pictures of matches on who' .

Leslie inwardly groaned as she made her way to the center of the department to ask some helpful… but of course no one in her department is helpful.

"Hey April?" She started carefully, not expecting a helpful answer but still supposing it was worth a try. "Are you a good speller becau-"

"No"

"Oh, well do you know how to spell lieutenant, by any-"

"No"

"Okay… well thanks" She said and walked away to Donna maybe she knew…

"Hey Donna?"

"What?"

"You don't by any chance know how to spell lieutenant, do you?"

"Do I look like a person who knows how to spell tricky words? Do I really look like I won a spelling bee? Cause, I haven't"

"Sorry just wondering…"

Well, she thought reluctantly I guess I am off to ask Ron…

"Ron?" She asked as she opened the door to his office.

"Leslie! I hope you have a good reason for interrupting my pre-pre-lunch."

"Well actually, I have a spelling crisis do you know how to spell the word lieutenant?

"Good God Woman! You can't figure out how to spell a lousy word and that is why you felt the need to interrupt my pre-pre-lunch? It's the best pre-lunch I eat! Now out of my office! I am sure you will figure it out! Why did you have to ask me anyway? Ask someone else!"

She tried to tell him that she had indeed asked someone else but he quickly ushered her out the door and closed it.

That went well she thought to herself as she walked back to her office to figure out what to do.

She could abbreviate the word lieutenant! No she didn't know how.

She could look up quotes with the word lieutenant surely the spelling wouldn't matter right? The problem with that was she couldn't think of any quotes with the word lieutenant. Hmm….

She eventually decided to call Ann. Ann knew everything.

"Ann? Hi this is Leslie Knope I need help with spelling you're a good speller right? Of course you are so how do you spell lieutenant?"

"Um… actually no, but did you try to look it up in the dictionary?"

"Oh, no. but I will! Thank you Ann! Bye!"

Ann tried to say bye too, but Leslie had already hung up.

Leslie quickly thumbed through the Lu's in the dictionary but in despair because the word lieutenant doesn't start with an Lu.

She couldn't call Ben, because she didn't know when he would be out of his meeting, or wherever it was he was. She realized then she would just have to ask Ben when she saw him at lunch.

So she wrote out her opinions, but instead of writing the word lieutenant, she replaced the word with an L, and would change it later. When lunch finally arrived, Leslie was kind of nervous, she always called him nerd. He wouldn't start to call her anything, would he? But, either way, when he came and joined her at their regular table she braved up and asked.

"You wouldn't know how to spell lieutenant, would you? Because I was trying to write that email for you, but I didn't know how to spell lieutenant, so I didn't send it. You didn't need it did you? I hope you didn't need it right away I already wrote it, I just can't send it. I asked everyone in the parks department. But no one would tell me! I even called Ann and she didn't know so I-"

"Leslie, It's fine it's L-I-E-U-T-E-N-A-N-T do you have a piece of paper? I'll write it down for you."

She handed him one and he wrote it down.

"Thanks" she said as he handed it to her. Now I can give you that paper. Where were you earlier anyway?"

"I was at another meeting with your mom. She says hi"


End file.
